(Voledads is the imaginary country I created in school.)

 

[Set opens in VWTV (Voledads World Television) Studio. Bryant Ethers, the imperious anchor of "Nightly Newsflash" and co-host on "Meet the Media", walks in.]

 

 

ETHERS: Welcome to VWTV Nightly Newsflash. Last week, we brought in some IRS, or Interal Reserach System, personnel, to speak with them about the developing story with computer crashes at Aeronautic and Space International Administration. The largest operating organization in space travel, ASIA was devastated by the computer crashes. Today we're speaking with Hester Crola, a representative and spokeswoman for the company that sells the operating system ASIA computers were working with, Ceiling XP. Welcome, Hester.

 

CROLA: Thank you, Bryant. We've done thorough tests of our operating system, Ceiling XP, which packages fine-tuned surveillance systems, high-speed operations, and automatic save programs embedded in all areas. We've also brought in some skilled technicians from such renowned companies like Gazillion.

 

ETHERS: For those of you who don't surf the internet on a regular basis, Gazillion is a highly popular search engine also sporting Gazillion Videos, Frazillion (a shopping area), and GBlogger. Anyways, back to the story. When will the investigations end?

 

CROLA: We don't want to set timetables, but we want a clear path for clear operations and we wish best of luck to ASIA.

 

ETHERS: Thanks, Hester. Hester Crola, representative and spokeswoman for Megasoft, creator of Ceiling XP.

 

CROLA: Thanks, Braynt. Good night.

 

ETHERS: An air of mystery still hangs over the ASIA computer breakdowns, and ASIA administrators are citing possible physical flaws in computers, the physical bodies of which are mainly manufactured by Natel. In a written statement, Natel "assures ASIA all computers are inspected and made for top standards," and "denies purposeful involvement in breakdowns." For more info on the ASIA breakdowns, go to our site at nightlynewsflash.net.vo. For our next story--how would you feel if a stranger replied to a Philippalist advert for a violin, saying that he'd like the violin-and he'll pay nine hundred grand? That--when we come back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ETHERS: Phillippalist, an increasingly popular website sporting lists of attic amusements, the occasional piece of furniture, the bed coverlet, vintage wine, even violins. From varieties like confectioner's darling "Honey-string Caramel" to the more serious Tiolan "Treiss" brand, one violin is special. We're talking with correspondent Ezekiel Baker to get the story on one big-bucks violin.

 

BAKER: It was a plain Elvernian day--the six-thirty shipments, the seven 'o clock, the newspapers delivered at ten o' clock sharp. Lisa Meyers, a single mother, is living out another day in the Elvernian apartment complex "Otto's Ivy." A working-class neighborhood, Otto's Ivy is plain; the concrete building is whitewashed. Balconies are luxurious, and the only adornment in the parking way is a fastidiously polished hybrid. Even this, Meyers says, doesn't belong to one the "apartners." It's the developer's car. Other than some pieces of furniture from dumps, garage sales, and bumped shipments, Room Number 55, Meyers' apartment number, is empty. Meyers works from her apartment; she can't afford daycare for her two kids. Meyers sells random items on Phillipalist, translates for international translating company Linguistics Line, does nights working at next-door factory Wells', and keeps track of money. One day while looking through a box left in the kitchen, Meyers finds an old violin. "I mean, I didn't think it was anything special," Meyers reflects. "It was a kind of dusty brown color, and there was no shoulder rest. It said "Citae" on the back." As it turns out, "Citae" is a now out-of-production violin, first produced in the seventeen hundreds. Meyers' violin was extremely rare--produced in the nineteen twenties, historian Robert Michel says it's amazing it stayed in such a good condition. Citae violins are renowned for extreme sound quality, and put up at prices up to a million dollars by collectors. Meyers is not a musician, so she put the violin up for sale on Phillippalist. "I didn't really think it would really bring in much money. I thought it was a fairly nice violin, and I polished it." The next day Meyers recieved a call from instruments collector Andre Vermont. "He said he'd pay nine hundred grand for it. I was amazed." Meyers immediately closed the deal. The nine hundred grand, put together with other savings, has allowed her to move out of the working-class neighborhood. "I'm really grateful to the violin," she says.                    

ETHERS: Thank you, Ezekiel. That's tonight's Nightly Newsflash. Thanks for listening. I'm Bryant Ethers. See you next week.

Saying that they'll improve this or that or stop or start this or that or help so-and-so or refuse to help so-and-so is part of every president's campaign, along with bumper stickers and flags and all sorts of other things, but the question is: Will they really improve the thing they're talking about, or do they even care?

 

President Bush says he's in support of the immigrants, but he probably doesn't care either way. One thing, however, is that a lot of Hispanics voted for him in the election and he probably doesn't want to lose their support just now when he's nearing the bottom of the Pit of Popularity with less people in favor of the war and how he deals with other issues.

 

Again, please leave comments on how you agree/disagree with me. IS ANYONE LOOKING AT MY SPACE ANYMORE???

 

Adora

 

   

I rubbed my eyes with one grimy, sweaty hand and scratched my back with the other, watching for a few precious seconds as my fifteen-year-old sister, Maria, continued to pick apples from the apple tree, her face as blank as a piece of white paper. My father was the same. 

 

I was tired, but I could not risk being seen resting by Chad, the portly, red-faced, big-nosed man who owned the apple farm. I might lose my job or get my pay decreased.

 

"Boy! Boy! Some identification here, please." I could tell the please was being said through clenched teeth and I could also tell that the voice did not belong to Chad or anybody I knew. I turned around cautiously and I found myself staring up at huge men, with guns at their belts and blue uniforms and badges. The police. I remained mute, scrutinizing them while automatically continuing to pick apples with my right hand.

 

"BOY! Some identification here!" 

 

"Uh..." I had been taught to pick apples without complaining, to work hard for my meat, to remain silent and obedient and to ask my parents or Chad before doing anything, but I had never been taught what to say when police came. Nor did I know what to say.

 

"The idiot dumb-boy must not speak English very well," the policeman grumbled to his fellow officer, turning to face him.

 

"Do you speak English?" he roared, turning back to me. 

 

"Yeah," I said cautiously, unsure about what I should say. 

 

"Well, then, some identification," the policeman said, making no effort to hide the annoyance in his voice.

 

"Um..." My mind swirled. What would happen if I was arrested? The small earnings my mother brought in from cleaning dishes and washing tables at a sleazy pub and the money my father and sister made would probably not be enough to support the family, and what would happen to me? Would I be deported without them? Would I be forgotten in a slimy jail cell with no or little food? Would I have a felony on my record and be deported? Would I--

 

I was cut off by the policeman, who grabbed my arm (not too gently, I can assure you), and shouted,

 

"This one's a wetback! Yeah, this one's a wetback!" The other people in the field turned to look at me but quickly turned back as Chad came towards them swearing. The police looked at him for a short second and turned back to me.

 

"Get a pair of handcuffs, Jones, you jackass! Don't just stand there!" I took the oppurtunity to kick at the officer holding me, which only made him let loose another explosion of swearwords and hold me tighter. They managed to force a pair of iron handcuffs onto my wrists and smirked at each other smugly in satisfaction.

 

THIS IS THE END OF THE STORY OF PACO, AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT FROM MEXICO.

 

p.s. This is not a true story. Actually it was inspired by the hot issue of illegal immigration and the game we played in class. 

 

 

 

    

I can't apoligize to anybody who doesn't agree with my opinion on this matter because, well, it's my opinion and I'm not going to change it unless I have a good reason. Anyways, off with the formalities and on with the discussion!

 

P.S. I WELCOME COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH ME ON THIS MATTER, HOWEVER. IT'LL BE ALL THE MORE CHALLENGING (AND FUN) TO TRY TO PROVE YOU WRONG!!!

 

Anyways, to those who say that illegal immigrants and legal immigrants will take away jobs, I say, well, they're taking the jobs that regular Americans are refusing like working in the fields and washing dishes. Basically, they work for less and you can buy for less. I'm sure everyone likes cheap stuff that actually has some quality.

 

Plus, it's not like immigrants just move in and take up all the space without working. A big part of the reason they come here is because there are more jobs in the U.S. than there are in their countries, and they probably also want their children to get better schooling, as well as religious and political freedom.

 

Another point--the U.S. was started by immigrants. Basically everybody (except for my classmate who forgot when Independence Day was) knows that we won our freedom from the British in the American Revolution and everything. But the thirteen colonies were made up of people who had immigrated from England and other parts of Europe who didn't want to be ruled by some nasty selfish old tyrant. 

 

I think that we ought to be a little more generous with jobs and we shouldn't shun people just because they don't have bunches of boring paperwork stating that they're legal immigrants. A lot of people think that illegal immigrants are just drug smugglers and don't deserve to be in the U.S., but a lot of them are hardworking people who just want to get jobs, a better place to live, and a better education for their children.

 

Don't forget to leave a comment about why you agree/disagree. I hate writing blogs without anybody putting comments about them.

 

Adora        

Omboreezeya Dummice was seen with fans in England to discuss plans about enforcing a new law making the distribution of colored pencils internationally illegal and a book contract for a manuscript titled “A Thousand Mistakes: The Iraq War”, reporters said. Eager passerby had to be forced out of Pennsbury Hall, where Ms. Dummice was to discuss these plans, with tear gas and high-power hoses. Finally a disgruntled Ms. Dummice herself, soaking wet, emerged from the Hall, followed by the rest of the American delegation and British politicians.

            When asked how he felt about this event, our country’s leader, President Mush, replied,

            “Oh, real fine I guess…”, shrugging. A secretary informed the President that at that moment Omboreezeya Dummice was calling from Cambridge and the president began his stuttering over the phone. This is Emily Dogerson (alias Adora Svitak) in Redmond, WA.          

 

Beer Escapade…and the President?

 

President George Bush was found drinking heavily at a nearby tavern on March 23, 2006, reporters said. He was found senseless and dragged out of the tavern to the White House, where he was put to bed at once by a few of his aides. Laura Bush was gambling with a couple of friends when she was informed of her husband’s stupor. She continued gambling for a few minutes and finally went, grumbling, to the President’s room.

               Many Republicans claim this is not true, but tavern workers were interrogated and Seeds of Learning Blog has determined these events are completely factual. Adora Svitak reporting.

 

 

             

In Heaven…Or Hell?

 

 

 

 

President George Bush’s personal priest, Father Thomas Brown, was found stealing from a senior center Friday March 21, 2006. He has pleaded guilty (saying he was “stealing for God”) to five charges of theft and two charges of fraud and has not been sentenced yet.

 

 

 

Bush Tries In Vain To Convince Citizens About Iraq War!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apologies to any Republicans who happen to be lurking suspiciously near my site, it's just that this is most interesting...I found it online on an image search while searching for evil princesses...

The S.O.L. Newspaper Tribune

            Current Teachers’ Bio

Felisa Rogers (sarcastic bio in some ways)

A vicious, mordacious beastie with sharp fangs which drip blood, Felisa is certainly a teacher to be afraid of. She teaches writing and history and helps students struggling with their homework, but be careful—she might rip yours up!

APPERANCE: A long bunch of brown fur streams from her scalp and she has brown eyes which sometimes glint maliciously.

POSITIVE POINTS: She makes a lot of things really funny, is a Democrat, and is pretty nice to us.

NEGATIVE POINTS: Eats babies, rodents (both ROUS and ROTS*), small furry animals such as bunny rabbits, and is careless about rainwear.

            Mary Chase (pretty much accurate)

Mary is the anatomy/dance teacher in Seeds of Learning and teaches on Mondays. Like Felisa, she also spends the first hour of the class helping students with homework. Sometimes she has experiments to do.

 

POSITIVE POINTS: has experiments to do quite a lot, usually fun ones

 

NEGATIVE POINTS: doesn’t let us have break

 

There were many people teaching at S.O.L. before, however this is only the current teachers’ bio.

 

 

*For those who have watched the Princess Bride, you will know what an ROUS is (Rodent of Unusual Size), but the ROTS is a Rodent of Tiny Size.

 

                        BREAKING NEWS ALERT:

S.O.L. student Katie Bauml was injured at the neck in a fall from a tree. Classmates Adora Svitak and Adrianna Svitak were witnesses to the event. Katie will be absent for a few days before she recovers.

 

                        POEM OF THE DAY

                    The tree was twenty miles high

                    And reached up to the sky

                    It was from there that Katie slipped

                    And fell upon the turf.

 

                    The tree had branches spurting out

                    From where we would sit and shout

                    We had attached a rope somewhere

                    But it was rough and worn and splintered. 

 

                    Now we’ve added safety measures

                    So climbing the tree will be like leisure

                    Ropes and pulleys, hooks and string

                    No one will fall again.