Naptime is an unnecessary event. Naps contribute to lifelong dependence upon long sleep; naps contribute to Severe Boredom Disorder. Naps are humiliating to many children; naps are major reasons many people rebel against parents earlier than teenage years.  

 

Naps contribute to lifelong dependence upon long sleep. In today's modern world, many of us find ourselves navigating the labyrinth of life with excruciatingly few hours of sleep. While it's always great to catch the occasional siesta, naps further your incapability to do things like run machines, go to work, and communicate, by addicting you to sleep and forcing a number of rigid rules concerning sleep, into your life, making it virtually impossible for you to do things that may lead to better status at work and home. I find myself weak and tired, often too weary to write, without a nap. Had I not been hooked early to naps, I would be able to perform duties without drowsiness dragging at my eyelids.  

 

Naps have also been proven to contribute to Severe Boredom Disorder, or SBD*. SBD affects most often five to thirty-five year olds. SBD slows the flow of blood to the brain while one is in napping position. This disorder leads to temporary Attention Deficiency Disorder for periods up to one hour or less.

 

Naps are humiliating to many children who interact with other kids outside of the napping-kids circle. They're forced to postpone playdates because of naps, and when asked the ever-present question "why?", they're forced to admit the embarassing secret to the sneers of other kids. 

 

Naps are major reasons many people rebel against parents earlier than teenage years. Many parents are concerned about revolting teenagers.  Naps set kids against parental units; many kids resent naptime being forced upon them, and begin resenting smaller things in everyday life before considered tolerable. My older sister, Adrianna, strongly dislikes naps, and has had many heated discussions with our unyielding mom about discontinuing them. Parents usually consider naps necessary and beneficial to health. What many parents don't know is that naps are potential roadblocks in the path to better kid/parent understanding.

 

*SBD: The Surgeon General requests that you do not take SBD too seriously. Firstly being it is a figment of my imagination, and my imagination alone. Secondly, who's going to become Surgeon General is still--to my understanding, in any case--up in the air.

I am getting increasingly annoyed by my sickness, which is leaving me to torment some other poor souls at night and near-night and returns to torture me in early morning. I've been constantly drinking tea, cursing in my mind, and taking (quite unusually) good care of myself, but it doesn't help. I WISH THINGS WERE BACK TO NORMAL!!!

 

By the way I've been doing weird things due to my sickness. I've been picking up expired resturant coupons and looking at them longingly despite the fact the ice cream shown on the front is a slimy pinkish color and the burgers look short, squat, and moldy, peering over my laptop when I'm writing important stuff, and the like. Well, that might be what I do regularly. I'm not sure. Hmm. Maybe. Oh. Forgetfulness must be part of this sickness. Or a side-effect of tea.

 

Adora 

I'm putting this under the lame, boring-sounding category of health and wellness because I am feeling like my immune system needs a serious upgrade. I have just caught a miserable cold (agonizing, unbearable and painful feverish state, more like) from my sneezing snake of a sister who claims, even more annoyingly, to have the perfect, exact "achoo" sneeze. She says I sneeze like "ahoo" but whatever. It seems supsicious to me that she always says the sneezes of people who she doesn't like are "ahoo" and "ahloo"...

 

Anyways, I've composed a screaming poem about all the bloody agony I'm going through while writhing on the floor with pain--well, more accurately, tilting a chair back and writing with pain...but, so, here it is.

 

                         The Hellish Sickness...

                     or, Oh, @#$%

 

                       I banged my elbow on the wall

                    Now it’s shouting it’s sore

                    My nose is clogged, my feet are cold

                    Life will be unbearable if there’s any more!

 

                    I’m sure blood is rolling around in my body

                    And making stains on the inside part of my skin

                    Heck, I let out a hacking cough

                    It sounded like porcelain crashing with tin!

 

                    My sneezes go in all directions

                    Welcomed, of course, by none

                    If I go on like this, what will happen?

                    Of course, I’ll have no fun.

 

                    My screams, my shouts are heard ‘round the world

                    As I am force-fed too-hot tea

                    I shake and shudder in dread that soon I’ll be dead

                    And won’t be able to climb the tree.

 

                    Oh, whoever controls these nasty things

                    Please won’t you hear me!

                    Can’t you just call those viruses away

                    And have a bit of mercy???